137 – Spirit Folk

Grade: D

Summary

Tom Paris is wasting time on the Holodeck, driving a 1900s car in a little Irish town a lot faster than it should be able to go. He crashes into something and the wheel pops off. But rather than just fix the thing, he gives a command to the computer to fix it immediately. We know something is wrong, however, because one of the Holodeck characters is aware of the change and heard the words Tom said to the computer. Now he thinks Tom Paris and his friends deal in Black Magic, and they want to get rid of them from their little town.

Commentary

Why? Why? Why are there so many stupid Holodeck episodes? Here we are in a part of the galaxy never before seen in this entire franchise, and yet we have to get yet another stupid holodeck episode. Voyager seems to have cornered the market on ridiculous holodeck plots. There’s even a two-part episode on it. Please, no more of these.

This one takes about 35 minutes before it gets into the story, but by then, it’s just so boring that only the most dedicated fan will still be watching it. Nobody likes Holodeck stories because they always have the same exact problems: the computer is malfunctioning, the safeties are suddenly off, and the characters become self-aware. And of course, we can never just uplug the stupid thing because that would kill off these characters who are suddenly ‘alive’ and qualify as life forms who have rights. So tired of this foolishness.

Tom, Harry and the Doctor are threatened by these Holodeck characters, and with the safeties not working, the three of them are in really serious danger. B’Elanna and Seven want to cut power to the Holodeck immediately and save their crewmen. Of course that’s the right thing to do, but this being Voyager, Captain Janeway must pick the choice that extends the episode. She actually has developed feelings for one of these characters. Really? Are you serious? Can’t she just re-program her love interest? B’Elanna even calls out the Captain’s impaired judgment, but of course that’s way out of line, Lieutenant. You should know it’s OK for Janeway to be more interested in saving a hologram instead of two of her officers plus the ship’s ONLY doctor. Sheesh.

Ugh. How stupid. We all know there’s never again going to be another episode that deals with the Folks of Fair Haven, so why are we even hinting at the idea that Janeway is concerned about protecting these fake people? We all know they don’t mean squat to Janeway because they don’t mean squat to the writers of this series. I don’t care if Star Trek wants to have Holodeck episodes – all I care about is having something realistic, organic, and authentic. Typically Holodeck episodes don’t have any of these qualities, and neither does Voyager.

Of Note

And you thought Attack of the Clones had ridiculous romantic dialogue between Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen. Check out the dialogue between Harry Kim and one of the girls in Fair Haven. It’s enough to make you sick to your stomach.